Taking matters into my own hands

Amira was removed from school nearly 2 weeks ago and I met with the educational welfare officer before I did! It was a hard decision made easy! I was tired of Amira going to school everyday crying, the part time hrs she was given, the lack of access to the curriculum she was getting, the outbursts she would have every day! The other parents complaining to the school about how they wanted her removed. The amount of phone calls I would receive every week to pick her up early, the fear she had every night of where she knew she was going the next day it felt like she was getting bullied by me to go, her teachers for not complying to their rules, kids for being different and their parents for what I can see as their ignorance.

To me my daughter happiness means everything. Since she has left I have had less aggressive outbreaks, smiles, cuddles and kisses everyday and she plays all be it in her own role plays so happily! I however unlike the school do not have 30 other children to look after at the same time I just have 1 other and I do it 24/7 with no breaks and a part time job! As far as my work is concerned they have been fantastic, so supportive and understanding!

Once the EWO came out to speak to me and I explained the situation at school, she agreed that this school was the wrong environment for Amira. I had no diagnosis at this point yet after a talk to the school Amira was picked up from school within the hour and brought home. The EWO I am dealing with were from NT and have been trying to contact N Council to get her a suitable school, even they are getting the run around. Diagnosis revealed Autism & ADHD! Recommending a special needs school as an ARC couldn't handle Amiras aggressive outbursts! . However, that is not enough for the council, to have a Dr recommendation, they need all the other depts to have their say too and this process can take up to 6 months for the "Statement" when the school will be assigned.

I do not believe this is right! 6 months out of school??? My child is 5!! The law I believe states " every child over the age of 5 is entitled to adequate full time education!" now let me just pull up a few points here!

1, if I invited you for an adequate meal I can pretty much guess you wouldn't turn up, I want better than adequate

2, Amira has not accessed any of the curriculum at school so far. At all! The school and other specialists have acknowledged that!

3, If I chose to keep Amira off school for 6 months I would be arrested, fined and deemed a bad mother!

4, Amira had never accessed full time schooling until 1 week before she left as the school could not cope with her and I was asked to sign a "flexi school agreement" from very early on, this proved to be an exhaustive process for me as when she finished I would take her to soft play or the park to help tire her out! It didn't, but it helped to give me 5 mins!

As far as soft plays are concerned I will come back to that topic another time as they make me scream!!

Ok back on topic…. 6 months out of a school environment that although Amira is loving will make it impossible for me to get her back into school! Here is a little example of how she feels about school. I went to pick Tariq up from nursery (attached to her ex-school) she saw some of her old classmates and screamed "help, my friends, they are coming to get me and take me back! Help mammy, I frightened, my teacher coming!" she sobbed as she hid behind a tree!

Tell me if your child did that what would you assume! She is scared of schools? I did! Amira has a lot of sensory needs and she still uses dummies to self soothe. The school insisted within the first few weeks these were to be removed. She did, but always kept them in her pocket so she knew they were there. Her Red coat is a biggy!! She hates taking it off, a lot of children with autism like the weight of a heavier coat etc. Of course, I had no diagnosis then but I knew she saw this as a sort of security blanket and often, in fact, always refused to remove it at school! This again was forced every morning and often resulted in a physical altercation! Personally, I believe in picking your battles! Would it really have affected anyone in class if she kept her coat on????? Next, her first week at school and I paid for dinners! I was soon "advised" against this as Amira could not get the hang of the whole getting a tray, choosing dinner, getting knives, forks etc and not being able to have a pink cup every day? Really, they couldn't have got her some lunch and given her that pink cup? Any how, she went on packed lunch and has had the exact same lunch every day on some days had none at all because she had an outburst and missed the lunch period she went the entire day without food! I was really not happy about that at all! If she had an outburst usually I was called to come and collect her. Yet, if she didn't eat all day no one thought that I should be informed and asked to collect her then???

All Amira ever wanted was to be included with the other kids, unfortunately, she was often excluded from things. The nativity was the worst.she was not allowed to take part as she couldn't really understand what to do and wouldn't follow direction! Awkward situation for the teachers too I'm sure! However, when she went to the hall to watch her class practice she was told to sit and watch! When she saw her classmates playing the instruments she leapt up grabbed one and started to try and join in! The instrument was then removed from her and she was sent back to her seat! She persisted (wonder where she gets that from!) and leapt up again, again the instrument was taken off her and now she got aggressive. She was removed from the hall and sent back to the classroom on her own. This was witnessed by a member of CAMHS who rang me and told me what she had witnessed. I ended up keeping her off over the Christmas period as I couldn't bear the thought of her being excluded like that. Same when there was a trip to see a pantomime, they didn't think Amira could sit for it and they didn't have enough adults to watch her too they thought it was best for me to keep her at home that day! Amira is an escape artist I know that but, that really hurt me.

Anyway, I am off point again. NC Council are now considering sending Amira to a temporary school until the statementing process is complete. This will not be her permanent school. Probably an ARC. CAMHS have already told me this type of environment will most likely not be adequate for Amira. Do I really want to set my daughter up for yet another failure??

I have now started digging and on Friday I went to visit an independent Special Needs School (SNS) ok it is not what I wanted but, who would ever choose a SNS?? It was in a lovely setting, very secure building (important) as Amira would run from school and go straight across a main road without looking! (Amira does not understand the concept of danger) there were 3 girls in attendance too that would form part of her class, also a possibility of more as 5 other children are applying to their councils to attend and they are 6 yrs old! Perfect age group for Amira too! She would finally have a peer group that understand her and can play all be it along side with her! Do you remember when you were 5?? I do! The friends I had then I still am in touch with the majority of them through the wonders of Face Book and yes, they were the happiest times of my life! I only want the same for my child? Am I wrong for wanting that? The school have said that they would create a specialised program for Amira starting at home and building her into school on a 1:1 until they could "break" her into the routine! They have specialist in everyday behavioural, speech & language, educational psychologist etc and have been established for years!

I met all of the children and they were a delight, all polite and following their individual routines. I expressed concern as Amira would almost definitely not be that co operative and they assured me that the other children there had all been like Amira, if not worse, and with the proper environment and guidance Amira is more than capable of that too. The children had been there for a while and were laughing and playing but also doing great work in their very small classroom. There was no art work on wall that could distract them and they were sent on little missions to build confidence and social skills. I also loved the fact that I TRUST this school would do the right thing by my daughter and I cannot envisage 3 of their teachers lying on top of my 5 year old child to pin her down during an aggressive outburst! The only problem I face now is getting NC council to even consider this option for Amira as it is the most expensive option. The other school in the NC Council district I was told (by the school) was full. It is also situated on the opposite side of the city to where we live. Remember, I live right next to the border. The independent school I like is in the NT Council district yet only 5 mins from my door. Now, I am lead to believe that a child attending SNS is given a taxi & escort every day to and from school! That must cost a bit? They could save that if we went to the independent school as it is so close! I was advised to ring around other schools so I can build up a clear picture of what the others have to offer. So far I have been told they are full, not the correct placement for her, we will call you back and my favourite, someone will get back to you he is free when they get out of a meeting and discuss it with you! All however ending the conversation with of course you are welcome to come and have a look round anytime!

Hmmmmm! Think it may be time to start ringing Councillors & my MP again! Wrong to think you have to do that but I will do what I have to do! Wonder how much help I will get now (post election!!!). A few people have mentioned speaking to the press and shaming the council in question into doing something! I'm not sure to be honest. What do you all think???

I will say this, writing a blog has helped me! It is like a source of therapy and I like the fact that I have helped a few other people! I only hope I can help more! You will notice that I have not mentioned anyone's name, council or school directly as although I am not pointing the finger at any one specific I am well aware that some people will not like what I am writing, I am not here to cause offence to anyone, just to hopefully help others avoid my problems!


Went off on a tangent again didn't I! I do that quite a bit!!! In other words all I am saying is I am no further forward yet but I am still fighting! Not sure what step to take next? Press? MP? Councillors? Back to EWO? Pester the LEA? Help!!! Anyone else think this is a back to front way of getting your child the education she is entitled too?