Waiting game

I have spoken to the head of SEN at NT council, a very nice man and he has spoken to his counterpart at NC. Unfortunately, I have gone as high as I can with NT now and they have done everything they can, all be it not in the "correct/procedural" order. They can now no longer assist. NC council rang to say that until the inclusion panel meeting on the 24th of this month nothing more can be done. Amira will have to stay at home until an appropriate school can be assigned. Now, my question is just because the meeting is the 24th will she get a school by the following week or will this be drawn out until beginning of the summer holidays and she won't be placed until the next school year? I suppose only time will tell. I am aware that all NC SNS are full at the minute as well as neighboring councils as the goverment keep closing them!

Did anyone else see the BBC News yesterday and the interview with Sarah Teather MP Minister of State for Children and Families.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-18061348

Basically, they agree that the process of statementing takes too long as some kids are being "labelled" un-necessarily! Apparently they are going to put the power back to the parents! Allowing us to make the choices and also give us the purse strings to hold! Ok, in theory this sounds great, in practice I think this is going to be a very daunting experience for some. Personally, I would welcome it, however, having done the calls round the schools and had the guided tours, I still don't know which one would be best, not that I have any choice! Any would be good at the minute! But, at least the are recognizing that there is a problem!

I also received an email back yesterday from the MP's secretary! I don't think he will be able to do much to be honest. I don't just want somewhere for Amira to go during the interim period until they make up there mind where she can go but, I also don't know what else to do for now! Do you think a nanny would take on the challenge? I know a private nursery won't?

Well that is it about the system for now until I get any more info..

So, I thought I would share a bit more about the family side of it and how this affects all of us!

Tariq: He is a very caring, and affectionate little boy and clings to me probably more than he should. He is not frightened of Amira any more, though he used to be. They were never left alone together as Amira was very unpredictable. Tariq hit all milestones early and is very intelligent. At 3 he writes all the letters of the alphabet and can talk your ear off. Just like his mum! He was often compared at school to Amira as she was only in the class above him. He is a lot older than his years and comes out with some much older comments like "Ok, Amira calm down counting to 3 now, 1,2,3 now it's all ok! What happened?" I stress he is 3 years old! He has been bitten, kicked, clawed (and has scars) pulled, pushed, had toys broken, the lot. However, he is still very protective of his older sister. Tariq sleeps in my bed as when Amira wakes up in the night she used to go in and scratch or bite him in his sleep to wake him up. His sleep gets interrupted at least 3 times a night. Yet he still gets up every morning with a smile on his face looking forward to go to school. He loves it! However, he is a bit confused at the moment to why Amira doesn't go! He used to love it when the 2 classes used to join up and he would love to show off his sister to the other classmates. Amira loved seeing him too and would play so nicely with him on her part it was a friendly face, an ally that didn't judge or pick on her and wouldn't leave her out. In fact, would encourage her to play with his friends and group. Tariq was so proud on these days and lately teachers have said his bottom lip drops when the door opens now and he forgets for a second that she will not be joining him. He is a very well rounded young man, polite and creative too. He like I said is very close to me and hates to be separated except for school.

Amira & Tariq's dad: although I am not with him, they are both still very close to their father. Amira doesn't have a concept of time and doesn't understand that it is a week between visits. He is absolutely devastated and is struggling to understand what Autism and ADHD means. I will be honest it is not the easiest to explain.

Nana & Grandad: they have opened up their home for me and my kids to come back. They have already brought up 2 kids and should be enjoying their older years, spoiling their grand-kids not living with them. My Mum & Dad are second to none! I would have been at rock bottom years ago if it wasn't for them keeping me up. I rely on them for everything! Amira often sleeps for only 2 hrs in a 24hrs period. It is not humanly possible for me to stay awake that long I work part time and my parents collect them from school, make meals, clean uniforms, help me bathe and wash Amira's hair (a 2 man job!), keep Tariq away when Amira is having a fit. My dad has taught Amira how to use a computer and sits with her to read her books and do her letters. I have known my parents to be up with Amira right around the clock on several occasions! I can tell you that when Amira was still a baby and I had been up 2 days straight I rang them at 2 am as I couldn't get her to sleep. Within 5ins they were at my front door picked her up put me to bed and told me to sleep. I remember being in hospital (with me I have been admitted on several occasions) my parents have picked up the kids and took it in their stride. We have the family motto "we all just stick together and get on with it!" my parents have paid for me and my children with not only financial help but with a kindness that I am in a debt that no money could repay! They have the patience of saints when their home has been destroyed bit by bit and possessions that they have worked long and damn hard for have been broken in a flash. Large HD tv, £50 a roll wallpaper that Amira drew on from one side to the other. Me with a cotton wool stick and bleach trying to remove it! ( That doesn't work!) doors pulled off hinges, dvd players broken, lights pulled off walls, stair gate pulled from wall and thrown down stairs, doors pushed into walls, locks up the door looking like Fort Knox, computers having every key picked off, mobile phones smashed, nail varnish remover poured into the bath and burnt all the enamel off. This is to name but a few! Most parents would be saying enough! My parents answer quite simply "is Amira ok? It's only a thing, it can be replaced, she can not!"

My sister: she holds the same attitude as my parents, we all help each other. She has been there for me through thick and thin. Amira holds a very close bond to my sister and they completely adore each other. Amira always has a smile for her auntie and allows her to wash her hair, they dance and be silly and play dress ups. Amira will do a lot of things with her that she won't with others and Amira feels very special when she gets to go out with her by herself. My sister has seen her fair share of bruises and scratches with Amira as have her 2 children too. She has never kept them away though, as I'm sure some people would and if anything has had the most relaxed approach to Amira, even from facing the nursery she would say try her best to chill me out by expressing that Amira isn't the first or the last child to bite, scratch, kick etc…. She has come with me to take the kids out, if she hadn't I would never have had the kids out at all as I can not manage on my own. I remember when we went to the coast and visited a sealife centre. Amira ran round in 2 mins and was done! We had a 2x 2year olds, a 3 year old and a 7 year old. As we went back to the car, parked along a main road directly opposite the sea front. Amira ran off, no concept of danger Amira sped off and it took my sister a good 50 yards to catch her just before the main road. If that had of been just me I wouldn't have caught her whilst carrying a 2 year old. My sister has also included me and forced me to get out of the house as I was turning into a recluse. Losing friends I had for years and turning inward. I literally lost my personality and my own identity. If it wasn't for her I would still be sitting in the house on my own. Crying to myself and not asking anyone for help. She pushed me to talk to HV and GP's, she included me with her friends when she went out and helped me get back to the woman I once was. I suppose it is true what they say. There is no better friend than a sister. I know I don't have one and would be lost without her.