With a little help from my friends!!

How do you get council to listen to you? Simple! You tell your sister and your friends!!

Wow! My sister and friends could move mountains! They are certainly not the people I would ever like to get on the wrong side of!! They all work for a telecommunication company and at one point I thought they might have cut the councils phone and internet service off until they agreed! Lol! Instead, they blogged, Tweeted, Facebooked, emailed, called, texted and knocked on almost every door of every MP, Councillor, solicitor, newspaper, radio station, TV programme, council complaints department and charity that they could think of to help long into the night! By this morning I had the Local Government Ombudsman on the phone asking if I wished to make a formal complaint and how could they help, I had a solicitor asking if they could take on the case, I had numerous charities volunteering contacts and support. I was inundated!!
I tried ringing the council over and over again but no-one was taking my call. Until, Parent Partnership rang the council, I had been told they were not in yet, they however had the diary to say otherwise! I was told by them to call back every hour on the hour until they spoke to me, I was calling the council every 15mins!!!

Finally, I recieved a call from the council this afternoon, during that 6min call I was apologised to 5 times!!! I informed him that not only was Thomas Bewick full (as he confirmed) but also all of the neighbouring boroughs (North Tyneside) special schools were too! So, I asked him when my preference would be considered? I was told that he thought I had been through enough and asked me to fill out the paperwork that is now on its way and he would speak to his head of department to clear it with him to send Amira to Percy Hedley! I was to be called back in the afternoon! I wasn't going to let myself believe it just yet! But, true to his word he called me back late this afternoon and confirmed a place for Amira at Percy Hedley school!! I was so happy I cried! I still cannot believe it! I now just have to wait for the school to contact me to arrange a start date and she will go for a weeks assessment first then straight into school!

I am under no illusion that it is going to be plain sailing from here, it is going to be tough and there are a lot more fights ahead of me! But, with the support of my family and friends I will be more than ready for them!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank every one of you for reading this blog and showing that you care for my daughter. My intention here was never to hurt, upset or gain anyone's sympathy or pity! I needed a release for my thoughts and support for my child; I will carry on updating this regularly with the first days of school and any other things that come up relating to Amira and the hurdles we face together! I would love for you all to carry on reading!

To all of those parents/guardians who are reading and have asked me for help and support I will always be here. I am planning on writing a flow chart showing who to call, where to go, whose cage you need to rattle etc, to go from suspecting your child may be autistic to diagnosis through the statementing process and accessing help and support. Please let me know if anyone thinks this will be useful as I wish I had something like that before this all started!

Thanks again and a special mention goes out to my mam and dad who have kept me not only financially but emotionally and helped with the sleepless nights, spotting when I couldn't take anymore and taking over! I would have been admitted to a funny farm by now if it wasn't for them. They have taken me back into their house and not only extended it for more room for us and watched Amira & Tariq damage and break things in their house they have worked hard for years to get, but also taken on more than any grandparent would be expected to deal with. They are supposed to be relaxing and enjoying their quiet time now and see their grand kids a few days a week, being glad to hand them back over! I see how exhausted they are and they never complain or fuss! Even when Amira splatters paint all up their walls and pulls down curtain rails and kicks doors off hinges! My parents are one in a million and I couldn't survive without them!

Next my sister, as you have read on here Andrea doesn't think she does enough, but she does more than any sister would do. She is the only other person that Amira will go out with. She picks up both my kids with short notice, she cheers me up when I'm down. She writes very powerful emails and will stand and fight by my side. I have no doubt that she will always have my back, front and both sides. She takes me out to get away for a bit, gives me a reality check when needed, loves my kids like they are her own and her and Amira idolize each other! Andrea encourages me to take Amira out anywhere and to hell with anyone who has an opinion about it. For all people think I am the bolshy one in the family, they have never pushed my sister the wrong way! She is my rock and I not only love her but I couldn't be without her.

To Mel, Kirstin, Lisa & Lisa, thank you all for keeping me sane, keeping me grounded, listening to me prattling on about Amira and how hard it is! Listening to me harping on about what a prat the kids father is. For offering me a sofa to kip on when we visit for a pizza night!! For standing by my side and taking up the fight with me and for caring for me and my kids. I know it started that you were all Andrea's friends and she took pity on me and brought me with her on your night out! However, now I feel like we are friends in our own right too and would trust anyone of you and have done with some very deep secrets and feelings. For all this and more I thank you so much.

There are so many more of you I would like to thank! My cousin Nichola who listens to my whinging and brings her kids over to keep my two entertained and give me a break! Always offering to take the kids to give me a break! My other cousin Angie who is always telling me of the latest music/medical/holistic therapy and the charities that can help. Pathways4all that have a fantastic support group and a safe inclusive play area for Amira and Tariq to play without judgement.

If it wasn't for these people individually and together I admit I may have done something stupid by now. Amira, Tariq and I have been through an awful time and life has been hard at times. It has of course not been without its fantastic times but there have been some incredibly dark times too! This journey has pushed me to the edge and beyond on many occasions and without the people listed above and quite a few others I would not be here to tell you all about it now. I don't think anyone other than those who have made this journey can describe how gut wrenching it can be. I have so many more hurdles to over come as time goes on but for now we are on the right path.

For all this and so much more thank you xxx

Epic Fail!

Well the inclusion panel met today!

Good News: Amira has been given a statement.

That's where it ends

Bad News: they selected Thomas Bewick school! A fantastic school, however, it is on the opposite end of the city. Amira as you all know is not a good traveller. The journey would take at least 1hr & 15 mins direct from door to door. This is taking into account, either, coast road or ministry traffic of a morning! Amira is also ADHD remember sitting still is an impossibility and when stressed as she would be travelling with strangers will cause her to go into meltdown. This would result in a violent episode and will cause her to attack those around her. Amira ha snow been out of school for over 6 months and starting a new school will be hard enough without the journey beforehand.
I expressed these concerns and was told I could put my opinions into council and they will consider it and could take it to tribunal!! They recommended I at least have a look at Thomas Bewick.

I admit I sobbed, the fight wasn't over. For some reason I had thought they would give me the school and hopefully she would be in by mon!! I was even daydreaming of having a nap on mon morning!! Pathetic you may think but I am so tired! I rang the school and asked to come and view. Speaking to the lady that I was told to call. She then informed me even if I wanted Amira to go there, she couldn't! Amira's age group (year 1) is FULL!!! Yes that is right FULL!!!

I tried ringing back council to ask what now?? Left 3 messages and had no response. I will try again in the morning.

I am so deflated. My child has now been in her room for 4 days coming out only to go to the toilet and squirrel away food! She has cried for the last few mornings asking to go to school! I can tell she is lonely. Mammy is not that much fun to play with all the time!! My heart is breaking, both of my children are confused as my son is crying to stay home from school as he doesn't want to leave his sister. I only ask for what is right. An education for my child. Amira does not receive any therapy until she attends a school. She has had no help or support since being removed from her school in April!

Why my child? Why my baby Girl? What has she ever done wrong? I have offered the council to take back all of the benefits they give me for having a special needs child, asking if they have them back can she go to Percy Hedley? If it is funding take the money you give me and pay for it that way!! Apparently they can not do that. My dad tonight has offered to put their house up and buy home tutors or try and buy a place at a private school. I could not accept that, my parents have already done so much. I have already lost my home, car and now left my job too. How can I ask them to put there home in jeopardy too, although I know they would give everything they have just to see her happy!
I cried when they told me as I feel beaten, I cannot even support my own children, I rely on my parents for everything. I called my sister as soon as I dried the tears. She of course said well we will just keep fighting.
My sister and friends even when I type this are blogging, tweeting, face booking and emailing every paper, tv show, radio station and group they can think of trying to rally support! I now don't know what happens next or how long it will take, but do know this. I will not stop, I will not give in and I will never stop shouting for my daughters rights!

If you know anyone who can help or see the links anywhere on FB etc please like, share or add a comments! Help make a difference in my child's life. She really does deserve a little help! Please...

The final frontier...... I hope!

Well, I finally received a call this week from N Council after the 4 un-returned calls over the summer holidays. They rang to tell me that the Inclusion Panel would be meeting on the 13th Sept and our case would be going through as all of the paper work had now been collected. The panel will meet first thing in the morning and they will have the decision back after lunch. He will call me after. They also said that they will give advice as well as naming a school. They apologised that Amira would not be joining any school for the start of the term but they hope to get the wheels in motion, as long as we are all in agreement about the school. I asked what happens what if I didn't agree but was told not to think about that now as they will take my views seriously and they do not like to go to appeal! God only knows, should I take that as positive or not??!!??

Well let's rewind slightly and let you catch up on other news!

Amira had her prescription changed from Melatonin (liquid) to Melatonin capsules then up to Chlorayl Hydrate (Sedative) I was very wary about moving to this it has a lot of side effects and is certainly not natural product like melatonin is, but I decided to try it, went for it and "drugged" my child to try and get some sleep! I have now tried it for over 2 weeks and can honestly say it is not for her, it has had no effect at all! I had better results with the melatonin capsules! Now back to waiting to speak to the paediatrician again to see what is next!

I have now taken a career break from work as I just couldn't physically manage anymore. I don't regret my decision but I am saddened by it. I miss my friends/colleagues, I miss the work I did and the responsibility I had, I miss organising an event and the buzz I got from the amount I raised and the smiles from the people who received the donation, I miss the contact I had with all the different members of the community, I miss adult conversations and a reason to get dressed in a morning. I may have been exhausted from it but I really did love it! However, I had to get my priorities in order and my children come first! That is why I don't regret my decision. It doesn't stop me from missing it though!

I am hoping that when Amira does finally start a school and now Tariq has started reception and is full time I will start to get my life back! I'm sure all mums have this feeling! A mixture of sadness and joy! I have just  had a very extended summer holiday for Amira, 6 months and counting!!!

I am under no illusion that starting a new school is going to be extremely difficult for Amira and "breaking" her into a new routine will be frought with challenges but I am now in a stronger place to deal with them!...I hope!!!!

We have been out and about over the summer holidays and joined in with the Pathways 4 All Picnic in the Park! We all had a great day, Amira absolutely loved it! The new park was fantastic, safe and fully inclusive...absolutely perfect for us!  The other parents/carers were lovely and when Amira stripped off completely to swim in a muddy puddle there were no tuts or judgements! Just acknowledgements that they had been there before! It was hilarious though when my sister was trying to catch her to get her clothes back in, Amira is very fast!!!